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Writer's pictureDonna Boylen

The # 1 Key to Self Confidence, a Positive Personality and Winning at Goals


Many people start the year setting great goals, usually along the lines of improving their life, getting fitter or healthier and achieving financial success.

Whilst setting great goals is definitely a “Must Do” to ensure you’re continually reaching for the stars and improving the quality of your life, what many people miss is the 1 step that is integral to any success in the achievement of your goals.

“Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you’ve got.” Jim Rohn

When amazing goals are set, usually the next step is to decide what you’re going to do in order to achieve them. You may decide for example, to start waking half an hour each day to help you towards your goal of running 5K. What tends to happen is this will last a few weeks or even a couple of months, but eventually (in 92% of cases) the motivation starts to wane and you eventually give up. Then you’ll start criticising yourself for never finishing what you start and remind yourself of how lazy you are. Does this sound familiar at all to you?

Your mental atmosphere largely determines your ultimate success or failure in any of the goals you set, so unless you change the thoughts that are filling your mind, you’re likely to fit into the 92% of people who don’t succeed in reaching their goals.

Our thoughts seem to be naturally guided to what’s missing in our life, what is going wrong or what is worrying us and therefore that’s where the majority of our mental energy is focussed. When you’re concentrating on what is wrong with your life, there is no possible way you can draw to you the success that you’re seeking.

If you begin to fill your mind with positive thoughts and affirmations, you’ll begin to develop a more positive attitude and therefore you’ll be much more likely to fit into the 8% of people who do succeed in their goals. Unfortunately though, many people are so conditioned to speaking negatively to themselves it really takes a lot of determination and effort to change the habit.

How often have you heard yourself say something along the lines of “I’m such a loser!” or “I’m so stupid?” With affirmations like this going through your sub-conscious on a continual basis, there’s no possible way you can succeed at reaching your goals.

So, for the next 30 days, I’d let you set you a challenge.

Every day, for the next 30 days, monitor your thoughts and every time you say something negative to yourself, stop yourself and say “That was the old me. I am now positive, happy & successful” (or substitute any other positive affirmation that feels right for you.)

Each time you walk past a mirror, stop and look at yourself and give yourself a genuine compliment. Instead of looking and thinking “Gee my hair looks Terrible” look and say to yourself “I love the way I look in this dress today.”

You may be alarmed at first at the amount of negative self-talk you’re noticing. No, it’s not getting worse – you’re just noticing habitual thoughts that used to come and go without any real acknowledgement from your conscious mind. The first step is awareness, so you’re now on the right path. You won’t catch all of the comments at first because most of the thoughts are habitual, but over time you’ll catch yourself more and more and will be changing those negative thoughts to positive ones. The positive ones will also be becoming habitual, so these will continue to increase also.

After 30 days, evaluate. See how much your self-talk has changed and how much more confident and positive you’re feeling. Then make the decision to make this your new habit and continue for the rest of the year.

I promise you, this is the single most important thing you can do to start achieving your goals and creating the life of your dreams. You will be walking taller, smiling more often and genuinely enjoying your life much more.

Let me know your thoughts and any successes you have with this

D


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